"I LOVE Turd Polisher Pro! Sometimes I have a great idea, but I don't have time to polish it and give it that commercial sound. With Turd Polisher, I can keep my day job and crank out awesome-sounding songs at night."
"I'm thrilled that someone finally made a program like this. I own a small post-production facility, and we used to spend a lot of time cleaning up poorly-written, poorly-recorded dreck. Now we can literally squeeze out a hit tune in half an hour. Turd Polisher Pro has become a major part of our arsenal."
"I recorded a politician talking about closing the Medicare donut hole. Three clicks later, Turd Polisher Pro created my new song, 'Close Your Donut Hole,' and posted it to iTunes. Amazing!"
"Very useful! But the interface could use a little more polish. Can I process TPPro through itself?"
"I am constantly astounded by what Turd Polisher comes up with! As a test, I dictated a story right out of the newspaper. Twenty minutes later, I had a real tear-jerker of a song. Now it's a number two hit on the country charts!"
"dude, the copy protection sucks! why do you have to ruin every song with those stupid 'created by turd polisher pro' harmonies? wtf?!! other than that it's pretty cool. if you fix that I might buy it."
"I like the way you can choose the target demographics — depressed teenage girls, angry rural voters, people who still buy CDs, etc. Brilliant!"
"Turd Polisher Pro is the shizzit!"
"Boy do I need this for my music!"
— Earl Vickers
"Sometimes I have to polish a song twice to get rid of the stink. But other than that, it's working beautifully. . ."
"I went out with this crazy chick once, and ever since then she's been calling me up totally wasted and leaving these pathetic messages on my voicemail. So I thought, hey, what would Turd Polisher do with this? The program crashed the first couple of times, but then it created this really beautiful song. I couldn't believe it! I've already won a best song award!"
"This is the kind of tool that makes life worth living! But couldn't you name it something else?"